You Guide Me When I'm Lost Ch.7 [Horuss x Reader]

Contrary to your prediction, Meulin did not visit you for the sole purpose of yelling at you and telling you off.

Though she did that as well.

She told you that you and her moirail were one of her OTPs, but he had a matesprit who he loved a lot, and you couldn’t just break his heart like that. She told you that she knew for a fact that he had something of a crush on you, but that was just not something you could do to a crush.

Though she did start out angrily, shouting a bit, when she watched your shrunken form and the tears constantly rushing down your cheeks, she realised how much this had hurt you. She calmed you down, telling you these things softly, well, for her, and politely. She hugged you, and pet your head.

How could you screw up your afterlife so bad? For you, your crush, and everyone else involved?

God, you were lucky you had Meulin, who else would be so kind, when everyone else saw you as a malicious slut? Maybe they thought you were just like Damara?

Your close friend must have guessed at your thoughts.

“Oh [name], don’t worry, dear. Rufioh doesn’t hold it against you, not really. He is a little upset, but he furgives you and-“

“But he shouldn’t Meu! He shouldn’t forgive me! Neither should you! No one should! I would die if I could; I saw how upset I made Horuss… and I just… Meu, I can’t live with that. I can’t live knowing he hates me. I just… I just can’t do it…”

Your eyes overflowed with tears again and she you moved in closer to her, and she hugged you tighter, as much as you thought you didn’t deserve it.

“Shhh, [name], you do deserve it. It was an accident. I’m sure Horuss will furgive you as well.” She rocked you slightly, like a mother would a child, “He could nefur hate you, I know it.”

Through your blurry vision, you could see her smiling warmly down at you.

I don’t deserve this, I really don’t

“Come on, dear, we’ll get you cleaned up. That’ll make you f33l better, won’t it?” She gave you a huge toothy grin that would have freaked you out when you first died all those years ago.

You smiled slightly and obligingly stood up, blanket still wrapped around your shoulders. Her hand was on your back and she guided you through the bedroom door to your hallway.
Your faint smile still painted across your lips, framed by your drying tears, you looked down at the olive blood.

“What would I do without you, Meu?”

“Starve purrobably.”

She grinned and you giggled at the truth of the simple joke.

Okay, well you couldn’t actually starve but she was still an awesome friend and you probably would have stayed in you room and sulked for who-knows-how-long without her.

You had changed the layout of the house back to normal and she led you to the bathroom. She gently removed the blanket from your shoulders and pushed you through the open door.

“I’ll wait out here for you, hun.”

You walked in and began to undress; a shower could usually cheer you up a bit. You showered for a while, singing loudly because you knew your deaf friend couldn’t hear you.
When you stepped out of the shower, you felt slightly better. You had a small smile on your face and began to dry your hair.

Then you froze.

Your heart sank, tears again sprung to your eyes, and your arms began to shake.

Meulin was talking to someone. Someone who sounded both upset and concerned. Someone who still sounded casual and suave even through all the drama. Someone who you couldn’t bear to face.

Your legs turned to jelly and you crashed to the ground without even noticing. You were collapsed on the ground, your entire body shaking; you couldn’t believe what a fool you’d been to believe you could be forgiven.

You didn’t deserve that.

You couldn’t open that door. You couldn’t face him, you just couldn’t.

Rufioh Nitram was outside that door and there was no way in hell you were ever opening it.